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Accomplishments of 2020

Before getting to far into 2021, I want to take this morning and flip through the five black, hardcover moleskins that can recount my daily actions throughout 2020. These journals are full of the good, the bad, the ugly and the confusing. I want to make note of the significant landmarks, benchmarks, and successes of 2020. This was a special year due to the pandemic. So, come along for this journey as I attempt to recount and share with you my recovery journey:

  • 1/1/20 – Day Counts
    • Social Media & Regular Media/News: 209 Days
    • DA Solvency: 4 months 18 days
    • Sexual sobriety (No P&M): 2 months 3 days
    • No Obvious Sugar: 7 months 6 days
    • Meditate 5 mins each morning: 1 day
  • 1/2/20 – $131,602.44 in Networth
  • 1/14/20 – Met with Vince to work through Step 8
  • 1/16/20 – Meagan & Matt met with Lori Murray about Meagan’s wreck
  • 1/30/20 – Made my Step 8 List and put ranking of 1-5 based on ability
  • 2/3/20 – Learned how to work Constant Contacts
  • 2/8/20 – Found guy to digitize dad’s slides of solar home construction
  • 2/15/20 – Removed myself from family text thread for the 4th time
  • 2/17/20 – $141,770.16 in Networth
  • 2/19/20 – had to reset S sobriety date after 3 months 21 days – acted out
  • 2/21/20 – danced at Heart Ball with Meagan, enjoyed being sober
  • 2/22/20 – attended Maddie’s Publisher’s Party at her school – present for it
  • 2/23/20 – Just wanted to feel equal to Jason, realized could never please father so set up bottom line to stop trying
  • 2/26/20 – Took trip to Nashville with Jennifer
  • 2/27/20 – Held Maw Maw’s hand for 45+ mins yesterday
  • 2/28/20 – didn’t pursue sex after Meagan said she didn’t fell like it
  • 2/28/20 – met Richard to complete long overdue electrical project
  • 3/1/20 – Richard hooked up a light in my closet, underearned long time
  • 3/3/20 – took time off from work to visit with Maw Maw
  • 3/3/20 – picked up my two year sobriety in beverage program chip
  • 3/4/20 – picked up Dano’s Pizza for family without eating any of it
  • 3/4/20 – didn’t realize a 3pm meeting until right before – started checking calendar daily; added to Bookend 0 print calendar day view
  • 3/5/20 – mom calls at 8:45am – 1st person she called “mom has passed”
  • 3/7/20 – typed remembering Maw Maw essay with photos
  • 3/7/20 – awoke and acted out
  • 3/7/20 – went to have coffee and tea with mom in afternoon; so glad i could share about resentments with brother
  • 3/8/20 – able to be present for Maddie’s soccer game, cheering on side
  • 3/11/20 – present for Maw Maw’s funeral
  • 3/12/20 – heard Lowman Home was on lockdown due to Corona Virus
  • 3/13/20 – Met with Valerie, Phillips, Carlin & Jenn for Corona Virus plan
  • 3/14/20 – Got LinkedIn Sales Navigator and orders to call 2000+ clients
  • 3/15/20 – Ordered Private Pilot Handbook to study
  • 3/15/20 – Typed up Step 8 list of people I had harmed and became ready to make amends – prioritized the list
  • 3/15/20 – serviced my own mower without calling dad for attaboy
  • 3/16/20 – first day of working from home in quarantine
  • 3/19/20 – set a boundary of not checking or sending emails after 6pm or before 7am
  • 3/19/20 – realized needed to alot for more time to homeschool successfully
  • 3/20/20 – $151,079.63 in Networth
  • 3/20/20 – went to Maxy Gregg park for a Men at Work face-to-face mtg
  • 3/21/20 – formatted excel spending plan to pinpoint 3-6 mths of expenses
  • 3/22/20 – attended 3 Zoom recovery meetings on In The Rooms app
  • 3/24/20 – experiencing withdrawl from mom’s attaboys; can quickly notice when seeking attaboys from parents
  • 3/25/20 – Meagan and I started Burn Bootcamp exercising together
  • 3/26/20 – Facetiming with mom and didn’t like it when sister popped in
  • 3/27/20 – watched documentary “What the health”
  • 3/27/20- worked with Host Gator & Go Daddy to set up Path To Warren domain
  • 3/28/20 – switched to Selective for $670 per year savings w/ $1m umbrella, $1000 less in deductible and same limits on auto & home
  • 3/30/20 – decided that all communication w/ Dad, Phillips, & Jenn need to be run through JB’s filter first
  • 3/31/20 – started attending 4pm SLAA calls and related alot
  • 4/3/20 – 2 year anniversary of being at Warren
  • 4/4/20 – updated Warren Family Tree with Aunt Frances on ancestry.com
  • 4/4/20 – got attitude with Keith about not wanting to use Zoom for office, instead chose GoToMeeting which is not as user friendly
  • 4/5/20 – got outdoor shower working without needing HW Heater
  • 4/6/20 – got excited about GaryVee and Grant Cardone podcasts
  • 4/7/20 – Started to really use MindManager
  • 4/8/20 – big cleanout of shed in backyard
  • 4/8/20 – spent 1 hr with Vince making action steps for Step 9 amends
  • 4/9/20 – solid uneventful birthday at home, low drama
  • 4/13/20 – got fish tank set up and bought fish with Maddie
  • 4/13/20 – cleared inbox from 188 down to 0
  • 4/14/20 – passed quarantine time by purchasing blow up pool for patio
  • 4/15/20 – thanks to timetracking, realized overworking 10.25 + 9.25 hrs in 2 days
  • 4/16/20 – realized I had PTSD from checking back accounts, trauma
  • 4/17/20 – learned how to add 2020 est tax bill to PFS without adding liability towards our Networth. Entered 2019 tax bill due into PFS
  • 4/19/20 – made awesome progress: website, podcast and blog, made 1st blog
  • 4/20/20 – huge progress on website, menu, fonts, contact page
  • 4/26/20 – played dolls with Maddie, created clothing rack in dollhouse
  • 4/28/20 – realized our total income on tax returns were:
    • 2014 $64,676
    • 2015 $95,436
    • 2016 $116,881
    • 2017 $?
    • 2018 $145,369
    • 2019 $126,777
    • 2020 $?
  • 4/30/20 – prayed up before Marketing Meeting and it went so well
  • 5/5/20 – did a purge of Facebook “friends” – deleted if had to think twice of who they were
  • 5/5/20 – pressure washed late until 8:30pm
  • 5/7/20 – hired a Spanish tutor on app and really enjoyed it
  • 5/9/20 – we had 48 people on a SLA webinar, which was wonderful
  • 5/10/20 – didn’t let Meagan cut cake for Eatons; acting out was at 9/10
  • 5/11/20 – heard “what’s your part and where is God in all of this”
  • 5/13/20 – heard GaryVee say “you know whats much better than adderall? gratitude!”
  • 5/19/20 – took $1,200 to Telco Prudent Reserve Savings Fund
  • 6/6/20 – learned how to edit YouTube videos and did it with Maddie
  • 6/8/20 – went to lake with Meagan, Kristie and Brittney, Kristy said she liked me to Meagan; enjoyed being sober, not drinking or smoking weed even though I knew it was there;
  • 6/15/20 – it was nice having the funds to fix our HVAC unit w/out credit
  • 6/16/20 – Maddie put her tiktok avitar to the black lives matter symbol
  • 6/16/20 – realized I was addicted to Tiktok and watching for too long
  • 6/20/20 – refused to watch “the Council of Dads” show – creates spinning
  • 6/25/20 – broke down crying, missing grandparents, heard podcast trigger
  • 6/29/20 – got Maddie a hamster and loved how happy she was
  • 6/29/20 – happy with how my brick work turned out at garden beds
  • 7/1/20 – sent draft of amends letter for Jason, sent to Vince
  • 7/1/20 – realized the similarity to Jason & MJ having the same superiority/inferiority complex
  • 7/2/20 – started getting up at 3:45am, had awesome spiritual sex last night
  • 7/3/20 – read books and took nap on beach, played in water w/ Meagan
  • 7/4/20 – got vulnerable and shared my recovery history with Ethan’s mom; didn’t intrigue on walks Friday on the beach
  • 7/4/20 – learned about Event Expresso where people can register online
  • 7/4/20 – recorded podcast #4, 60 mins long, about Pinestraw Plus
  • 7/5/20 – enjoyed 2 hotdogs with bun, frozen ice with syrup on the beach, took a nice 1 hr nap yesterday, can jump back on Whole30
  • 7/6/20 – shared about DA with Wendy on beach
  • 7/7/20 – shared at Renegade Group on Fear; Jason R. texted and I called him back after he received my amends letter; sex was awesome,
  • 7/8/20 – good parental discussions with Maddie in bed about cussing
  • 7/9/20 – great dinner with parents – no resentments
  • 7/10/20 – I was asked by the chairman of a lunch meeting to share 1st after a lady had shared about her money problems – he knew of my work in DA because I had shared about it in the past
  • 7/10/20 – put Jason’s amends letter in the mail and recorded two podcasts on the walk to the mail box 5:45 – 7:45am walk
  • 7/13/20 – Day 1 of crunches 5 mins minimal per day; it was a relaxing Sunday yesterday, nap, yardwork, podcast, called Vince, feel better about amends; helped Wendy – DA “solvent” bottom lines podcast
  • 7/13/20 – recorded that JTM asked me “does your dad think your brother Jason’s word is the holy grail?” validating my similar thoughts
  • 7/13/20 – Maddie asked about mom not having a bed for her, got her feelings hurt
  • 7/14/20 – big progress, shared with Meagan about Jason resentments, agreed on ‘shell’s insanity, I’m not moving her. Period. Made amends with Meagan and talked with Maddie too
  • 7/18/20 – Great AORE – discovered and dove deep into Elaine & Marie; learned that in CoDA, Jason is my qualifier; it was a win that mom or dad didn’t ask me to move my sister;
  • 7/19/20 – got to jump on new 6pm zoom SLAA Mens NY meeting
  • 7/21/20 – Attended Renegade mtg, 1:30pm call, 4pm call, 6pm call
  • 7/22/20 – attended and was present for Intergroup Rep service position
  • 7/22/20 – laid boundary with mom about disagreeing with sister’s move; working on inner child work in AORE
  • 7/23/20 – planning to do lunch with mom – set internal boundary to not rescue or give advice, just planning to pause and share my experience
  • 7/24/20 – wonderful share with mom; deep meditation with inner child healing; excited about healing the hurt inner child
  • 7/27/20 – nice walk today at Islamorada, recorded a podcast on inner child work; kept mouth shut about inlaws making so much noise in the morning; instead, I am looking within, Why do I get so annoyed at Debbie and Meagan leaving the fridge open forever. So glad I attended the 6pm meeting; so awesome
  • 7/28/20 – made another 6pm meeting and loved it; didn’t really want to go fishing, wanted to play with Maddie and do my readings, walk with Maddie. Glad I can stick up for my inner child; lost my solvency – $35 bank fee; lost 11m 15 days of solvency – had to restart my day count
  • 7/29/20 – made a list of my top line behaviors
  • 7/31/20 – helped Sean R. – discussed treatment facility
  • 8/6/20 – started writing gratitude list in my moleskin journal instead of texting another person. Physically writing 10 items that I’m grateful for under 10th step list each day. “I am grateful for…”.
  • 8/7/20 – attempted to write out by Bookend 0 items and check them off very similar to what I was texting action partner; items on list were: Everydollar App, Time Tracking, Daily Spending Journal, Spending Plan, Networth, 10th Step, Calendar, Blog & Post, Podcast, 5 min abs,
  • 8/8/20 – shared in parking lot meeting and Arial texted me inviting me to the big group text thread
  • 8/11/20 – feeling good about posting on Facebook about business
  • 8/13/20 – realized that the core of my issues is Codependency
  • 8/15/20 – proud that I did not run to rescue mom about Michelle issues
  • 8/18/20 – prayed for Papa with Maddie when Meagan was crying; slept with Maddie all night last night,
  • 8/20/20 – Jim S. wanted help in the yard to build a garden bed and I was able to charge what I think I’m worth, $100 per hour for gardening consulting. I could sense my old under-earning behavior wanting to give the time away because of who he is and what he does for our recovery community
  • 8/20/20 – made three big amends yesterday, grateful Landis accepted my amends, replied and wanted to talk. Choe told me to come visit him in Washington sometime; Vince said he was proud of me
  • 8/22/20 – Fantastic dinner at 9 mine in Asheville with Meagan and Maddie; surrendered when I couldn’t find my medicine bag – come to find out it was in my suitcase the whole time; laughed with Maddie over paper towel dispenser in the restaurant bathroom
  • 8/23/20 – I am grateful to be able to enjoy a fancy dinner with Maddie at the Glass Onion; Maddie loving all over me and wanting to be carried too
  • 8/23/20 – so glad I was able to discuss with Meagan how I was detaching from sister and the crazy behavior prior to that day; She tried to Facetime us while we were having family time together and Meagan said “No Thanks”
  • 8/24/20 – set goal of not raising my voice and am proud that I was able to go all weekend without raising my voice to Maddie, not one time; such a fun, relaxing vacation to Asheville, nice Airbnb, super grateful to do new top line behaviors with my immediate family.
  • 8/25/20 – skipped 6pm meeting to hangout with Maddie; loved drawing hamster cage design with Maddie with pencil and paper
  • 8/25/20 – Networth $157,052.48
  • 8/26/20 – 45/78 amends completed; mom and dad amends letters done
  • 8/28/20 – loved helping Maddie build hamster cage, teaching her how to use the drill, use pencil on wood, shared ‘bad stories’ at bed time and called Vince to check in
  • 8/29/20 – Awesome AORE today; shopping with Maddie at Lowes was fun and educational for her; helped her build the hamster cage; typed in NYTBS and my gym class was hard today
  • 8/31/20 – Landis laptop showed up at my house; glad I have this website so I can discover myself and who I am; helped with Maddie’s first day of 3rd grade;
  • 9/1/20 – shared and cried hard with Meagan – emotional release about last night about Sunday; shared in 2 meetings about how to handle, i am healing my inner child and working on codependency
  • 9/4/20 – Meagan said I could come down to the beach on Saturday – huge progress in asking for what I need, which is a break and time to myself; recorded episode 50 of Podcast;
  • 9/8/20 – great weekend with in-laws, I did not check emails for work Sat-Tues morning, did not act out on my urge to act out last night; Pop came and we had coffee during my reading time and discussed recovery
  • 9/9/20 – attended/ listened in on 4 recovery meetings; fantastic sex last night, spiritual sex, love making and intimacy, romantic
  • 9/10/20 – 7,412 people in Constant Contact database for work; remembering how it was a pipedream to get over 6000 when I started
  • 9/14/20- went to the pump track and rode bike around it, topline
  • 9/15/20 – gave the lead at All-In
  • 9/16/20 – called mom to do my homework for AORE the next day, asked her about Aunt Amy; learned about Jamie telling Amy to call DSS, Aunt Pete’s house – learned about the siezures and that I was the one who called 911, caretaking happened early.
  • 9/17/20 – fantastic dinner and fun time with Maddie and Meagan; did not raise my voice, slept in because I knew hours slept were low thanks to time tracking
  • 9/17/20 – Maddie helped me color in the savings home blocks for $1000 that we deposited into Telco prudent reserve. Goal is $30,000
  • 9/19/20 – celebrated 7 months of no P&M today
  • 9/20/20 – completed the book “Broken”; heard GaryVee podcase where he said that “just like Wine-O’s collect good wine”, I realize that good attorneys and adjusters collect expert CVs for their database
  • 9/20/20 – got up at 3:45am on a Sunday and it felt so good; wrote 3 amends and sent to Vince to proof
  • 9/21/20 – worked on 2017 tax documents because of looming audit
  • 9/23/20 – got on my knees and surrendered the whole 2017 tax audit; I believe my Higher Power is using this to help make it clear what happened and the insanity of my behavior
  • 9/24/20 – was present with Maddie this evening and took her on a date. We got Poke dinner and ate it under the beautiful sunset in Five Points, sitting at the fountain and people watching. Simply enjoying each other
  • 9/25/20 – Awesome reaction from Kirby’s amends; it made him cry he said. He apologized for his behavior as well
  • 9/25/20 – realized I had double entered Hemphill expenses by accident
  • 9/26/20 – called mom to say that I’m concerned
  • 10/4/20 – grateful for being invited to do smores at the neighbors last night; glad I was able to freely discuss my stopping drinking
  • 10/5/20- Day Count: social media 487 days; solvency 2 months 6 days; S Program 7 months 15 days; obvious sugar 1 yr, 4 mths, 9 days; meditation 9 months 4 days; 5 min crunches 1 months 26 days
  • 10/8/20 – great response from John F. amends
  • 10/10/20 – love my life today – marriage is good
  • 10/11/20 – called dad today and shared my good day with him; didn’t run to rescue mom or try and save; had an awesome day with Maddie; Called Twig to wish Happy Birthday
  • 10/15/20 – spiritual high today
  • 10/20/20- 8 months today of no P&M, 500 days with no social media
  • 10/21/20- mom told story how she was listening to Al-Anon tapes and is relating alot; laughed about lady holding guys head under water, not wanting to kill him, then drying off his head so he would not get a cold
  • 10/23/20 – worked 4.5 hrs on 2017 taxes; had amazing spiritual sex and asleep by 8:45pm; Telco Prudent Reserve account was $10,556.09 on 10/10/20, added $5000 from Meagan’s Foster wedding
  • 10/23/20 – found out Marie mistreated Jeff on my wedding night; mom tells dad she listens to ‘yoga’ because he just doesn’t get meditation. mom was told by therapist that she has ‘complicated grief’ – compounded loss of sisters,
  • 10/24/20 – was able to be there for Meagan because she got in a wreck in her Tahoe; we had dinner date at Za’s and I shared about my Step 9 work and what all I am learning about my dysfunctional childhood
  • 10/26/20 – Networth $162,401.88
  • 10/27/20 – made an inventory and realized that I had 31 credit cards and bank accounts, no wonder my life was unmanageable.
  • 10/30/20 – realized that my solar business was an expensive hobby, not a business; I can officailly say that i have PTSD from closing the business; I did 2 hours this morning of DA phone meetings
  • 11/3/20 – loved picking up all bank statements for 2017; took lots of emotions and pushing through the shame to call the bank and request these; networth shot up today because of Meagan’s deposit from wedding
  • 11/10/20 – first day of adding a Prayer List to my daily journal under Gratitude List and to the right of Boodend 0 items
  • 11/11/20 – emotional release this morning with mom about her asking me about thanksgiving plans and Jason receiving my letter saying Matt doesn’t want to see me again
  • 11/14/20 – worked hard in Atlanta and it shows; worked out in hotel gym – hid TV remote; stayed sober while on trip
  • 11/18/20 – was in Intergroup giving service last night; was present and participated in TWG stragegic plan; go got asked and accepted to speak to Sunday at 6pm
  • 11/23/20 – Qualified for the first time in my Men’s NY meeting last night; proud that I wrote it out and shared it;
  • 11/24/20 – loved chatting freely with Pablo
  • 11/25/20- Day 1000 of no drugs and alcohol;
  • 11/30/20- loved meditating and taking a nap yesterday; glad I crossed three more amends off the list; good to see I’m attracted to rescue people
  • 12/1/20 – loved taking a meditation break at the local park, in my Tahoe on lunchbreak and taking a quick nap- so refreshing
  • 12/2/20- added RM to my Bookend 0 list which is Read with Maddie; I am working to read with Maddie 30 mins each day
  • 12/4/20 – added “Affirmation List” category to my journal page each day, writing out three things that I affirm of myself
  • 12/5/20 – added to Bookend 0 list “GPAs” which stands for Gratitude List, Prayer List and Affirmation List. Making sure I do each of these everyday
  • 12/7/20 – crossed 4 more people off the amends list
  • 12/11/20 – did not seak an attaboy from parents today; received an amazing letter from Zach K. from my amends letter that I sent him; did a good job in Atlanta and Greenville
  • 12/13/20- 555 days of not scrolling news and social media; wrote several blogs yesterday
  • 12/14/20 – spiritual sex yesterday morning, lots of love; did not run to people please Michelle; did not let mom’s standoff ruin my Sunday
  • 12/15/20 – top line behavior: showering outside in outdoor shower in 38 degree weather
  • 12/17/20 – was able to be present and work in the hospital while Meagan had her operation; I was well prepared for marketing meeting
  • 12/18/20 – added P.U. to Bookend 0 list, with goal of 50 pushups each day
  • 12/24/20 – Day Counts: Sober 1029 days, Media 567 days, solvency 4 months 25 days, P&M 10 months 4 days, Obvious sugar 1 yr 6 mths 28 days, 5 mins of Abs 4 months 15 days, meditation 11 months 22 days
  • 12/29/20 – reached Episode #100 on Path to Warren Podcast
  • 12/31/20 – spoke on Building Partnerships to 6pm Men’s NYC Meeting