I was informed today that my behavior of deciding to pay my dad $100 per month on a payment plan was impulsive. I owed him $55,000 from two loans that were given to me when I had the solar debt and was hitting rock bottom.
“Pulling numbers out of thin air” is a common trait of people in recovery from debting and underearning. When I was sharing with my action partner that I needed to separate my dad’s debt from other dead debt, that was because I had crafted a payment plan and that was different from the other debt in which I had no agreement.
He asked very casually and frankly, “How much did you agree to pay him?”
I answered, “$100 per month.”
“Well where did you get that number from?” he asked.
“I just came up with it. It sounded like a good even number.” That is exactly what it is. It is a random ass number that I pulled out of thin air!
He shared with me that before recovery DA, we tend to pull numbers out of thin air. Yes, I thought. Guilty as charged! Debting myself impulsively because I chose a random number, instead of being patient and figuring how much I can afford without depriving myself and my family first.
Today, I am not planning to break my agreement to my dad by changing that number to a different number, but instead, before I decide to start paying the rest of the debtors, I am going to have a better idea of how much is left in my spending plan at the end of the month.
I’m getting closer to knowing what that number might be on average, but my PRG folks and I need to work through those one or two more months from now. I’m very excited about my new sponsor in DA. We agreed for it to be temporary, but I’m happy about that and grateful to be working with him.
One day at at time. I am so grateful for where I am today.
