- Have you behaved in irrational, absurd, or unreasonable ways when it comes to money? Explain
- Sure, I have. Ended up $330,000 in debt, not including my house.
2. How has compulsive debting been destructive to yourself and those around you? List the areas in your life that have been affected by your insanity around money (your home, your relationships, your work, your self-esteem, your reputation, etc.)
- Almost was divorced
- Almost lost access to daughter
- Severed relationships with partners, friends
- Reputation in town was lost when couldn’t pay debts
- Felt horrible, wanted to quit, surrendered and got help
3. Faith can be defined as “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” In what or whom have you placed your faith in the past? What have been the results?
- In the past, from college until about 3 years ago, I didn’t use or have faith in a higher power. I just did my thing and he slowly brought me to my knees.
4. Did you grow up with a specific concept of God, Divinity or Higher Power? Discuss
- Yes, very religious pre college. Played guitar in a church band. Very involved in youth group. My HP was a condemning God back then, I was always waiting on him to drop the hammer. Lots of fear around going to hell. Today, my Higher Power is a loving God who wants what is best for me. He is on my side today.
5. Some of us in DA have had a difficult time with authority figures. Have you?
- Yes, didn’t listen. Always was the rebel. Going against the grain. Plowing a wide path.
6. To what extent are you able to trust others, including other D.A. members and your sponsor?
- My trust has been restored with recovery. I trust my sponsor and others in recovery.
7. Do you feel there is space in your life, however small, for somebody or something that “has your back” unconditionally? If not, what do you think would need to happen for you to allow yourself to experience that trust?
- Yes, I believe my HP has my back today.
8. Do you feel understood and accepted by other recovering debtors? How so?
- I do. I feel at home in DA meetings. These folks get me.
9. Do you keep your numbers? If so, how, and how often? If not, what is holding you back from starting today?
- Yes, I keep my numbers daily and have extensive spreadsheets. I enjoy doing my numbers first thing when I get to my desk as part of my daily routine.
10. Consider whether emotional, social, and spiritual immaturity may have contributed to the money chaos in your life. If so, how, and to what extent?
- Yes, I was immature about every aspect. I feel now I have actually grown up in all areas
11. What are some healthy things you are able to do today to help relieve any pressure you feel?
- I use the tools. I call others. Bookend with fellows. I have an action partner who we meet every Wed at 6am and Saturday at 6am. I have sponsor in AA and sponsor in DA. I have sponsees too. I journal, I podcast and I share in meetings to stay current and out of my head.
12. What do you hope to get out of DA? Out of life? Imagine and describe your life going forward without ever incurring unsecured debt.
- I hope to get freedom around the bondage of my behavior. I want clarity around my family’s money situation. I want to become the financial leader of our household. I want to be fully self supporting. I want to be 100% debt free.
