8/27/2021 Today, I’m riding in the backseat of a car with two other dudes in recovery, headed to Seabrook Island. I helped coordinate and plan a men’s retreat for our 12-step men’s group. We were able to get 16 men to come together and have rented an AirBnB. Not just a regular house, this thing is supposed to be huge. It sleeps 14 people! I’m looking forward to late night campfires and quality time with the boys.
At work, my life is good today in recovery. I’m communicating what I’m thinking at work and not holding in resentments or concerns. I’m voicing my opinions. I enjoy what I do. I work hard and keep track of my time to the 15 minutes to make sure I’m not over working or underworking. I don’t track what I’m doing within those hours at work each day, instead I’m just tracking my time from like 8:30am-12pm 1-5:30pm. Make sure that I work my 40-45 hours per week.
At home, my life is good today in recovery. My wife and I feel like we are on the same page. Sex is the best it has ever been. We have spiritual sex instead of lustful sex. It is intimate. This September 16th, it will be 15 years of marriage. She has stuck with me through all of this, and I am forever grateful. She lets me go to my recovery meetings and zooms at any and all hours of the day without questioning it or making me feel bad. Sometimes I listen to meetings while doing chores or yardwork around the house.
Friendships, my life is good today. I have friends all over the world today. I have a buddy who lives in London, Texas, LA, dozens in New York and here in my home town, my recovery buddies and I see each other weekly, face-to-face currently. My high school buddies are what they are…they are my high school buddies. I don’t really talk to them much anymore. I’m ok with that too. I made my amends with the ones that I needed to make amends to from when I acted a fool. There might be one more, Jeremy, that I need to make amends to. I remember that I acted a fool at his wedding, dancing with the band and shit. Meagan and I were not in a good place. I drove separately to his wedding. We got into a few arguments that night. It was a miserable time. I’m so glad we are not in that space today.
The Circle and Triangle, in recovery consist of the three parts of the program including the Steps, fellowship, and service. I have one AA amends left, besides the one above I just thought of to make. The one left is Blake. I’m hoping to pray it up with my sponsor and give him a call this weekend. I have about a dozen people whom I owe financial amends to and I’m working those in Debtors Anonymous. I have a sponsor in DA and an four action partners. I have been meeting with an accountability partner in our program and in our All-In group every Wednesday and Saturday morning at 6am. As for the fellowship part of the program, see the paragraph today. As for doing service, I’m quite involved in my programs. I am an active member in Sex and Love Addicts anonymous and men’s group, Augustine Fellowship, has done more for my recovery than anything. I attend one of their four zoom meetings each day. I rarely miss the 6pm speaker meeting. Those qualifications have help me grow so much spiritually. I have spoken probably five or six times to that group of 50-70 men located remotely around the world. I have deep relationships with that group and love many of the men in there. They are my brothers and fathers of choice. We share so much together. They know me and I know them.
In the “cash” program, DA, I am doing regular service. I was voted in to be the Intergroup Representative for our DA Double Winners Men’s Group. We have meetings every day Monday through Friday at 10am. I normally listen to them with an airpod in an ear while I’m working on something else. Then, towards the end, I’ll step outside, take a break from work and share for my 3 minute share. I have qualified for that meeting as well at least two or three times. They start off their meeting with a speaker too.
Prayer and Meditation is good today in recovery. I do my evening review the next morning. I start each morning on my knees in the kitchen, on the rug. I say the Third Step prayer and turn my will and life over to my Higher Power. Then, I put in my airpods and listen to a meditation while I do some exercises. I do 5 minutes of timed crunches and ab work then 60 pushups. After that, I go to the library table and read for about 45 minutes to an hour. My relationship with my Higher Power that I choose to call God is better than it has ever been. I will pray throughout the day or just talk to him. I pray for others in my journal each day, I write down at least three people or things that I am praying for. I pray with my family at dinner and other meals. Plus, one reason why I love putting Maddie to bed each night is that I get to say her bedtime prayers with her.
I am not sponsoring anybody and was waiting until I finished the steps. After I finish my call to Blake, I’ll work 10, 11, 12 with Vince, then I’ll be ready to roll. I think I would really like to sponsor someone.
