Seventh grade came along, I was getting a little more scandalous. I remember after school one day, Taylor, my girlfriend and I walked together from one building to another. When we entered the second building together, the door opened up into the stairwell. We needed to go up a flight of stairs, but no one was around because we had to stay after school for science team. We had been flirting to the max and holding hands everywhere we went. That was a big deal in middle school.
She pushed me into the base of the stairwell in a place that almost seemed premeditated. A secret little place under the stairs where others couldn’t see us and right then and there, we made out. It was a first for me. I had braces on my teeth at the time and was proud of them. I thought braces were a status symbol that made me cool.
I never will forget the huge rush of chemicals inside my body that first time I had that “make out kiss”. French kissing was a new drug for me. This horny little kid wanted it now all the time. Taylor would go down in my history book of “love addictions” as my first make out kiss. She was further developed than a lot of the girls at the time because she had breast that would bounce when she walked. That was a far step up from Meredith, my last girlfriend who was not very gifted in that area. She was pretty flat with an A sized bra.
Fast forward a few years, we dated on and off from that 7th grade kiss until high school when I was old enough to drive and date. I remember taking my little Toyota 4×4 truck to the local Kroger in Irmo. It was going to be a date night. I had to get some wine, I thought and obsessed. I had thoroughly devised a plan to wait in the parking lot of Kroger, pass a $20 bill to someone who looked cool and ask if they would help me out and buy me some wine for tonight.
It was going to happen. This was one of those obsessions, that I was not going to stop until I had the wine in my truck. I would have gone to any length to get some wine. This was after my first drink so it was after my junior year of prom, for sure. I had to be 17 or so. The parking lot was a bad idea because I couldn’t tell who drank and who didn’t drink…, so I remember having to adapt my plan of attack.
I went inside and trolled around the wine and beer isle inside Kroger, totally underage, but it was not a crime to look, I thought. Then, I saw a person in the alcohol section who would appear to be the kind of person to support underage drinking. “I’m going on a date tonight, do you mind helping me out and getting a bottle of white wine for me?” I was shocked; the guy agreed to do it!!! I said “I’ll be in the parking lot waiting for you.”
I had the whole story planned out in my head. I had grabbed two Dixie cups from home and put in my truck and now I had a bottle of wine coming, just like the old country song goes. Some guy actually did take me up on the offer after a few rejections. I remember him walking back outside before he purchased it and finding me to ask, “You want Rose’ or Pinot Grigio?” I had no idea…not a freaking clue what the difference was or what he was talking about. I just said “pick one”.
He comes out with a nice bottle of Rose’. Then was off ad I picked Taylor up from her house in Chestnut Hills Plantation and we drove out to Chapin. I was certain we could find an abandoned dock and drink some wine, hopefully make out and maybe even get lucky. I was scared as a 17 year old boy can get. Scared because I was afraid of what her expectations of my were going to be.
She had recently broken up with a boyfriend who was a few years older than us and they were together for a couple of years. I knew she was “experienced” when it came to boys and I think I was drawn to her because of that experience. I wanted what she had and I was going to go to any length to get it. I remember driving and driving that night. It was dark out by now and I was acting like I had it all figured out. “Fake it till you make it”, I heard mom say in my head. I came across a small dock. We parked the truck, I took the bottle of wine out from behind the seat of the little truck, grabbed the two red solo cups and we were off.
We went and sat down on the dock and I remember struggling to open the bottle. I didn’t have a wine bottle opener, but that didn’t stop us. I sure didn’t have much experience yet in this field, but that will soon be developed into expert status. As we drank, she wanted to play truth or dare….what a better way to speed up the mood, I though. It quickly turned into skinny dipping and jumping into the dark, cool lake. She went first.
Her clothes hit the dock and before I knew it and she was naked and treading water in Lake Murray. I took off my clothes to join her in the water and put them on the dock. I had no idea what to do. So many firsts were going down that night. The water was too deep to touch the bottom, but I clearly remember regretting not touching HER in the water. Here was a naked girl with gorgeous boobs skinny dipping in the lake with me and I was too chicken to touch her. What in the world was I doing? Why couldn’t I touch her. This was the moment I had been waiting for!
At that point in my life, I was extremely active in my church youth group. I was going to FCA, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, playing guitar in the youth group, had gotten my Eagle Scout award, but something about my hormones or curiosity changed me, like I was a double person, with split personalities when I was with her.
When I was drinking, no matter if it was love or alcohol, I was totally different when I was at church. After we swam in the water a little bit and she realized it wasn’t going anywhere, she got out, got dressed so that I couldn’t see anything. I remember us making out later in the truck, but I still didn’t touch anywhere I wasn’t supposed to yet. She was far more advanced in sex than I was. In fact, I think that that was what drew me to her.
She was an expert based on having dated a few guys before me who were older and knew how to handle her. Maybe I was thinking that I was just going to let her guide me, I guess. Someone had to teach me, right? I remember driving back and resenting the fact that I did not do anything. Why did I not just touch her in the water, it was the perfect opportunity. Her blonde hair was floating in the water as we treaded to stay afloat. She would have let me do anything. This I was certain. No question.
Would she make fun of me at school for not doing anything? How would I explain to my buddies that we went so far but yet we didn’t even do anything worth talk about? Just the standard make out kiss was all. But we did drink wine on someone’s random dock, we did jump into the lake on the summer evening, we did get naked and skinny dip, but I did not, could not even touch her…nope, “I am a church kid. I do not believe in having sex before marriage.”
After I chickened out, I was quickly using the excuse with friends of saying that I don’t believe in sex before marriage. I’m one of those good guys. I think there was an element of me trying to rescue her. Knowing that she had just gotten out of a poor relationship, I think I had bigger plans. It did feel like I was living two lives though. Half of me wanted the wild girl, the perfect romance, the crazy drunk kind of love, but the other half of me wanted to lead the youth praise band. I also remember Granddaddy not really approving of her, but saying “she will pass.” I resented that so much because I was in LOVE.
