Thank you for your willingness to read this and for the opportunity to get this heartfelt apology off my chest. On November, 8th 2021, I made a decision to take a different path. My therapist suggested Alcoholics Anonymous. The next day, I went to my first meeting in Columbia, SC and immediately got a sponsor. Since then, I have devoted all of my efforts to getting and staying clean and sober. I decided to give my life over to the loving care of God. I have been working hard on myself since that day to make sure I am thoroughly working through this 12-step program. I have been taking my time and uncovering the truths about who I am and why I’ve struggled with these addictions for so long.
I’m currently on Step 9, which means it’s time for me to make amends to the people I’ve caused harm to over the course of my life. I’ve gone back and forth wondering if I should reach out because the last thing I want to do is cause more harm to you. You deserve a sincere apology from me. After long discussions with my sponsor, I know this is the right thing to do at this time. This letter does not have any hidden meaning, no self-seeking, manipulative, or selfish motives. I just need you to know that I was wrong and I deeply apologize for everything. I’m not expecting anything in return.
I was dishonest, selfish, insecure, manipulative, controlling, and many times angry towards you. I turned back into the person that I promised I would never become again. I blamed you for my lack of trust for our relationship. I was wrong. The real reason I lacked trust is because I couldn’t trust or keep promises to myself. I did not love myself. My insecurities about who I was ran rampant and my active addictions took over. I apologize for any hurt that I might have caused you. Looking back on those years, my behavior was truly insane and I’m sorry. I am deeply ashamed for all of my actions that caused you and your family emotional pain, anxiety, loss of peace, and confusion. You did not deserve all that I put you through. From the bottom of my heart, I genuinely apologize for everything I put you through. I also want you to know that I did not want to delete you and your family from my social media and I hope it didn’t hurt you further. During this discovery process, my sponsor and I felt like this was the right thing to do temporarily in order for me to focus on recovery and really get down to the causes and condition of this disease.
I also want to express my sincere gratitude towards you for having the strength to do what needed to be done at the time. You saved my life. If it weren’t for your strength and grace, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I would not have found the rooms of AA. I wouldn’t have this incredible relationship with God. By the grace of God and the rooms of 12 step recovery, I’ve been sober now for 6+ months and I have rebooted practically every area of my life for the better. Going forward, I will continue to pray for your peace and happiness every day for as long as I live. Your mom was right, this is a REAL disease that has deeply impacted my life and the people around me. I’ve made a promise to myself to stay sober for the rest of my life, just one day at a time. Again, I want you to know that I take full responsibility for ALL of my actions.
Out of respect for you and your space, I felt writing an email was the most appropriate form of communication. If you have any questions about any of this, feel free to reach out however you wish. I just wanted to apologize and say thank you for the nudge I needed to become the person I am today. I hope you can one day accept this sincere apology. I want nothing but the absolute best for you. I wish you all of the happiness and peace in the world. You deserve nothing less.
Sincerely,