I might have had a good product when I had my solar business, but I sure as hell didn’t have the right processes or people in place. My life’s processes were so far our in the wrong direction that it hurts to even recall those memories.
“Product + Process + People= Successful Business”
“If money is your only problem son, you ain’t got no problem.”- what he was saying what that if your idea was good enough, then people would donate or loan you the money. If your business was strong enough and your processes were in place and you had a wonderful product in high demand, money will come. Well, when I had the solar business, I thought that my only problem was not having enough money. I was so far from right. My problems were much greater than not having money.
I had a drug problem and a drinking problem. I had a disease of addiction and it was killing me fast. You could tell it in my eyes, my facial hair, my body weight or lack thereof; you could tell it in the sloppy clothes that I wore sometimes. You could tell it in the cleanliness of my car and the people I associated with…I had much more than just a money shortage problem, but my mind was so clouded that I convinced myself that I just needed more money.
The answer, as Chris, my therapist put it was “Throwing more money at this problem is not the solution to the problem. Whether it is getting more loans from parents or anyone, the solution is to get sober and take care of your family now, not throw more money in trying to pay back these loans. This has many layers and could be true if all of the other factors are in place. But the fact was that I didn’t have a business plan and I was two fucked up all the time to write one. My head was all over the place due to the bourbon, Adderall, weed, Xanax and the combination of anything else that allowed me to escape reality.
When I got in deep with Kirby, the problem was that I never asked dad for his advice. I assumed that if he was good enough to not get fired from The Warren Group for the eight years that he was there, it ought to be good enough for me. When I asked him, “why didn’t you tell me about the problems with Kirby,” he say “you never asked me” …” I told you to reach out to him because he knows a lot of people. The next thing I hear is that you are in bed with him and going into partnership.” If he told me, I would not have listened. Ego, pride were running rampant. He wanted me to trip and stump my toe instead of fall off of the cliff. For this, I am forever grateful. The lessons learned helped me change direction and pivot from those ways
