This week, I heard in a meeting how someone “invited their inner child into the conversation” and another person said “I took a walk with my inner child today and had a talk with him.” At first, I was speechless and blown away. I did not know what in the world they were talking about. Then, someone started talking about how they are working to heal their inner child.
Wow, this must be where I am at in my recovery. I believe that my higher power is revealing to me that this is the next step in pealing back the onion. This HAS to be getting close to the core of the onion. So, I jumped online and found YouTube videos after videos, even meditations that focus on healing that inner child.
I believe this inner child in me is in need of healing. They discuss going back to that day of the trauma, rewinding back to that scene. Go there in your mind. Focus all your energy on closing your eyes and being back with that young innocent child. Ask that child if he wants you to sit by him. The child might not want to be touched or want to talk right now. That is okay. Be patient and offer words of love to the inner child.
I had on my action items that I would start a list of events that might have wounded the inner child. It didn’t take but one sitting and before I knew it, within 10 mins I had a list of 13 items. After sleeping on this and getting 7.75 hrs of sleep last night, I woke up this morning thinking that this is just a start. This is the core of where I need to focus my recovery next.
I moved before my second grade year from my friends in Irmo, to Mount Holly, NC. I met a young girl there and was head over heals in love, as any 7 or 8 year old would be in that situation. The day of my move back to Irmo, it was right around Valentines Day. She gave me a big box of crayons in a metal tin with a nice card. All I brought to school was a card. I felt like a piece of dirt. My family quickly moved away after staying there only about a year or less. Lonely, abandoned, changing all of my friends…again. My siblings didn’t understand. I would often get picked on because I was the friendly, social one that had emotions. So, often times I was picked on.
In recovery, I have shared about these items in my Step 4 personal inventory and resentment list, but I have not “healed that inner child” yet.
When sitting down and focusing on this Inner Child Therapy, I wrote down these traumatic experiences that need to be healed.
- “What Books?” story
- Ace moldy stick scene
- Blake at Grandparent’s house
- Hilary H.’s box of crayons
- Trophy’s bark collar scene
- Walking on eggshells as child
- Surviving daily steamrolls
- Peacekeeper
- Rhoden’s theft
- Lefty
- Maw Maw moving scene
- Dawn and stairs
- Culvert magizine
- GirlTown
- Fishing in the woods
- Birdchest not Body Builder
- Stutterer
- Jumping Sports, not fitting in
- Moving to Mount Holly, then back
- I’m proud of you needs
- Just say I love you
