- Introduction of Speaker: Ben Pogue, Finkel Law Firm on “Claims Negotiations” at the Charleston Area Claims Association Meeting
Ben’s Book recommendations on negotiation:
- Never split the difference– by Chris Bass
- The Art of War- Sun Tzu
- Patterns of Conflict– John Boyd
One technique he recommended was to remember O.O.D.A- Observe, Orient, Decide and Act
If the party we are negotiating with also has another party that they are negotiating with, they are less likely to do the rational thing.
If we just start use words like collaborate, cooperate, counterpart, we are more likely to think rationally. It helps us think about why they are thinking the way they are thinking. Just by using those words, it helps make the other side think that you are making an effort. Even if the other side gets nothing, if we use those words, like collaborate, he will think if you as the collaborator in the future even after the deal is done…even if he lost a lot of the deal.
Tactical Empathy– the tactics for empathy help you 1) build trust, 2) help you get more information and 3) helps you lower the defensiveness of your counterpart.
Start asking questions that begin with “How” and “What” – “How am I supposed to do that?” “What are you basing that demand on?” If you ask those types of questions, you will build trust, get info, and lower the defensiveness.
Align himself physically with the person. Take a body position that is side by side, at least do not be straight on in front of the other person. Have hands that are open, not hands closed, or arms crossed. Those are defensive postures. We instinctively think of those as fighting stances. If we are side by side, we can focus on something else, looking at something in the distance together like we are on the same team. Arms down by side and arms on hips are fighting stances. Standing in front of the mirror and sticking out your chest is a way to build up confidence before a talk. Relieve the threat by standing side-by-side with the counterpart during a negotiation.
The 7-38-55 Rule of Communication– 7% of the communications that we receive, comes from the interpretation of the words; 38% comes from the tone of voice; 55% from body language.
Remember the quote in The Art of War by Sun Tzu, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” We certainly want to know what is going on with our counterpart, not just ourselves.
Identify your counterparts’ other counterparts, they might be having to negotiate also with a client, a boss, or other parties besides just you.
If I think that the counterpart is being irrational, I need to be aware that they are already having to deal with and communicate with two other counterparts. I must think through to the counterparts telling them what they can report back to their people, the client and boss.
Use What and How questions. He doesn’t know what to do with the What and How questions accept answer them. He doesn’t know that I’m and trying to win trust and get info and lower his defensiveness.
Give it back to them the way they say it to you. “The data just doesn’t show us that we can….”
Give the counterpart something to use to go back to his counterpart than just saying that we aren’t paying it or that that offer will never work. Respond with “How am I supposed to do that?” or say “Sounds like you are having a difficult time with your client.”
Instead of just proposing a number, say “What do you think about this number?” You are not just throwing out a number, but you are asking what they think about it. It gets them to reply with something other than just another number.
Ask a question to get them to answer something or think about it in reverse. What kinds of things is this number going to mean to you? It makes them think that you are thinking about their feelings. Key takeaway: Return a number with a question and a number.
